Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A friendship star....or a star friendship

How do you define relationships with your friends? Are all friends lumped together; do you have a best friend; are there just a few people that you call friends? I am very blessed to have a lot of friends. (not that you can tell by how many people follow my blog! perhaps I need to advertise...) Not all of them are "close" friends but I am fortunate to have several very close friends. There was a time when I thought I had a "best" friend but circumstances have presented themselves over the years that made me bump that classification back to "close" friend instead of "best." I really haven't had a "best" friend since high school...someone that I ran around with all the time, talked to on the phone every day, and spent virtually every moment I could with.

It's funny because some of my close friends refer to me as their "best" friend, but I always wonder if they say that to any of their other friends, too. That's why I wonder how other people define their friendships. I'm sure those people think of their multiple "best" friends very highly and somehow mentally separate the relationships. I just have a hard time with people claiming to have more than one best friend since that one person should seemingly be at the top of the list. Right?

I have two groups of "close" friends that I communicate with regularly. In the first group there are four of us that always celebrate each others birthdays by exchanging gifts and taking the celebrated one to lunch. We stay in touch weekly either through phone calls, emails or make plans to hang out and are always sensitive to what each other has going on our personal lives... I feel we are truly close. The second group is made up of totally different people that I confide in about certain things and likewise they confide in me about some things. I don't typically get to see them more than a couple of times each month (sometimes less) but we touch base through phone calls and emails all the time. I still consider these friends to be "close." As a matter of fact, there are five of us from the second group who have just started a prayer group where we pray for each other and our families.

My husband has one "best" friend. The two of them can sometimes be like I was with my "best" friend from high school....they go through periods of inseparability that drive me insane! But, something always happens to remind them that they don't really and truly like hanging out every second of every day because then they won't see each other for a week or two and just talk on the phone...a lot less than before whatever falling out they had. I just wait for these times to resume because the distant times usually outlast the inseparable times. Needless to say, they both know I don't understand it. I just can't get how two grown men can be so needy at times. Anyway....moving on. I don't have a girl friend that I'm like that with. And, honestly I don't want a relationship like that. I don't like the idea of someone being that dependent on me.

I guess all of the other friends I have are just "friends" or acquaintances. I don't know how else to classify them. I guess classification isn't really necessary. I just find the topic interesting and am curious how other people think about it. I can be quite overly analytical at times so maybe that's what I'm being today.

No matter how I decide to break it down I am extremely grateful for the friendships that I have. When I was a teenager I was quite anti-social and withdrawn except around my alternative/punk friends. I tried forging personal relationships after high school with a couple of different girls but got burned, so I stopped trying to find a running-buddy. Considering how relationships in my adulthood began I find it amazing that I have as many friends now as I do. That makes me feel really good!

Another thing that makes me feel good is that my friend "M" is my number one blog fan! I appreciate that very much! : )